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Alarmingly Disarming...by dee

"This writing business. Pencils and what-not. Over-rated, if you ask me." Eeyore

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deeindiana

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July 3rd, 2009

Why does creme brulee' cost as much as cheesecake in a restaurant? Don't tell me it is labor-intensive or the ingredients cost more. I've made both several times -- and it ain't and they don't.

Creme brulee simply looks hard. All it is is milk, sugar, eggs and vanilla baked in a pan of water -- and you can make mass quanities at once.  When ready to serve, sprinkle with sugar and set under the broiler for 30 seconds. Done. Boom.

That is not nearly as expensive or difficult as a cheesecake. Just purchasing the mountain of cream cheese and sour cream you need puts you well over the national debt. Add in all the exotic favorings, additions and toppings and you've got enough cash invested to bail out GM. Then you've got to wrestle with the spring-form pan, cut it into neat slices, and decorate each individual plate. Talk about labor-intensive.

Yet, for some reason, when you order both at a restaurant they are considered equal on the bill.

Last night as we celebrated the birthdays of our sons at a fancy restaurant, we all ordered a variety of cheesecakes and creme crulee'.

When the cheesecakes arrrived, they were towering artistic creations of astronomical proportions. The citrus cheesecake was a glorious recreation rivaling an Aztec temple in its hay day. At least five inches tall, the cake sat on swirls of glistening raspberry puree' and chocolate shavings, spirals of candied orange peel exploding from the top like a sun burst. The chocolate version was stacked round layers towering on a plate of spiraled, golden caramel. Drizzles of warm fudge sauce trickled down the sides of the four-inch-tall cake. And on top of this heavenly monument to the gods was a mound of chocolate chips dipped in gold dust that sparkled in the candlelight.

The creme brulee'?

The white ramekins (bowls) were exactly three inches wide and one inch deep. Exactly. I measured them with a tiny measuring tape kept in my purse. The creme brulee filled the bowl a bit more than halfway to the top - making the estimated serving size about 1/4 cup. There was no fresh fruit, no toppings, no whipped cream...not even a pretty but useless sprig of mint. The white ramekin was sitting on a white napkin, on top of a white saucer. Done. Boom.

And when the bill arrived, each dessert cost $6.50.

Next time, I'm ordering the cheesecake.

June 27th, 2009

Talking about Michael

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Conversation with my mother today at the diner.

*note: My mother is in her late 80s and legally blind. She has to sit very close to see TV and use a magnifying glass to read. She has kept up and loved popular music her entire life.

Mom: "It's so sad that Michael Jackson passed away. I remember watching him when he was a little boy and sang with all his brothers on the Ed Sullivan Show. He was just a cute little thing."

Me: "Yes, it was quite a shock."

Mom: "What nationality was he?"

Me: "American. As a matter of fact, he was a Hoosier too. He was from Gary."

Mom: "And he used to be black, right?"

Me: "Ummm....used to be?"

Mom: "Haven't you seen any recent pictures of him. Somehow he became white. I didn't know that was medically possible. Is that a new proceedure?"

Me: "Well, no... He had some kind of condition that effected his skin pigment. He wore a lot of makeup."

Mom: (Silence, then finally) "I know I can't see very good, but his face was white. WHITE. Blinding white. Like a skull, bleached bone. Why would he put on makeup to look like that on purpose?"

Me: "I guess he was just trying to cover up the depigmentation."

Mom: "But shoe-polish white isn't anybody's skin color.  Who was he trying to be?"

Me: "I don't know, mother."

Mom: (Sighing) "Too bad that he died before he could figure it out. But, he was 50-years-old. If a man can't figure out who he is by 50, he probably never will. But it's so sad."

June 16th, 2009

This made me smile

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Chando, where were you while all this was going on?!

June 15th, 2009

My favorite actor

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Youngest son just finished a community theater production of the ever-popular Godspell. He played the role of Judas -- the one wearing the army jacket. Honestly, I wasn't sure if I could watch the painful betrayal scene, but made it through by watching it through the emotion-filter on my camera lens. It was a great show!

The second-to-last pix is son's legs. Yes, a pretty girl is sitting on him. He said it was "*cough* A little...ummmm...well...uncomfortable." Riiiiight...I'll bet it was. *shaking head* Boys...

The last pix isn't my son. I just thought it turned out good.


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June 2nd, 2009

Window Peeker

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The weirdest thing just happened.

It is a still, quiet evening and I'm sitting in my bedroom bump-out  with the windows open. It is my favorite place to read or use my laptop - a large octagon area surrounded by windows. It's an open view of the countryside, except for one window that is half blocked by an over-exuberant bush.

As I was typing away, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the bush had started to quiver.

Assuming the breeze had picked up, I returned my attention to my typing...until the quiver became a persistant wave.

Then it began to violently SHAKE!!

WTF?!

I leaned forward to peer out, and all of a sudden a raccoon was looking at me through the window screen!!

We just stared at each other for a moment and I said, "Well, hi fellow". Then, he slowly climbed down and waddled away.

Weird...

May 23rd, 2009

Happy birthday to me. Ouch!

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We're all friends here, so let's not beat around the bush. I'm just going to come right out and say it. After all, there's no easy way to slide this into conversation. When you try to do that, you just end up making excuses. I don't have to beg for understanding or explain my actions. It was my 50th birthday and I just did it. And the best way to tell you about it is to just blurt it out. Quick. To the point. No apologies.

Ummmm...what was I talking about?

Oh! That's right! I was coming straight to the point.
For my 50th birthday, I got botox.
Read more... )

May 8th, 2009

Mario Dee

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I borrowed my parents minivan to haul furniture tonight and was driving home. After stopping at a country four-way stop intersection, I noticed that the gas pedal felt "funny". Sort of stiff. I gave it a little tap -- and the van leaped ahead as if I'd floored the pedal. It engine roared and the vehicle began barreling down the road, faster and faster and faster... 

"What the shit?"

Thinking that the pedal of my parents van might have simply stuck down, I slipped the toe of my shoe under the pedal and pulled up. No good. The pedal just flopped uselessly as the van acccelerated. Speed: 70mph.

"Well...shit!"

I pushed on the break pedal. No good. It hardly budged. I pushed harder. No good. It was like trying to stop a freight train. Speed: 80mph.

"SHIT!"

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I remembered a lesson I learned while mowing with our riding mower. You see, I have a tendency to run into things while mowing: trees...bushes...garden features...the house...etc. The mower is just really hard to stop. I've learned by experience to quickly throw the gear into neutral as I approach large stationary objects.

Speed: almost 90 mph. So, I threw the van into neutral. The engine roared frighteningly like a jet plane. It wasn't acccelerating anymore, but I was still zooming down the road -- and now the sound was terrifying.

"SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!!!!!!!"

I stood on the break pedal with all my considerable weight (thank God for that Hershey Bar at lunch!) and finally felt some response. With my other foot, I began pushing on the emergency break and the van finally stopped - the engine still roaring. I pulled it into an empty driveway, turned off the engine and rested my forehead against the steering wheel.

"shhhhhhhhit........"

I started to reach for my phone to call for help, but then realized in despair that there was no one to call. Both sons were out of town for the evening. Husband works in  Michigan. My parents don't drive. The library was closed. Mechanics would be gone for the evening.  I was too proud to call mere acquaintances.

"Shit!"

Home was six miles away but, with no other choice, I started walking.  A mile down the road, it started to rain. No kidding. You can't make this kind of stuff up. A cold, steady downpour.

*sob* "SHIT!"

About a half mile later, over the loud squishing of my shoes, I heard a car come up behind me. Then a voice cried out, "Hey cousin! Ya wanna ride?" Yes, to my shock it was actually my cousin, Rick! It was surely a miracle! He drove me back to the van and took a look under the hood. The gas pedal cable was frayed and the kinked pieces of wire had gotten stuck. He trimmed off the pieces so I could drive safely home and gave me orders to get it into the shop as soon as possible. I couldn't thank him enough.

When I finally got home, I cried for about 15 minutes then changed to my comfy bathrobe. I'm exhausted and shaky. Probably the fear, stress, and 1 1/2 mile walk. Now that I've had a little time to think, I've come to three conclusions:

1) Every time I borrow something of my parents, it breaks. Through no fault of my own, the object always seems to wait until it is in my possession to fall apart. And since it breaks on "my watch", I feel responsible for the cost of the repairs.

2) I reacted to this emergency situation very sensibly. I am rather proud that I did the right things. And didn't die.

3) When something traumatic, frightening, unexpected or sudden happens in my life...I say "shit". A lot.
Anyone excited about the new Star Trek movie coming out? I just bought my first Star Trek glass at Burger King. Woo hoo! I hate to think how many Value Meal calories I will be forced to consume to get all four...

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May 5th, 2009

Britains Blacklist

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Whew! Thank goodness I didn't make the blacklist of people not allowed into Britain!  At least this makes up a little for the fact that I'm worth nothing in the UK.

Seriously, I found the article quite interesting. Do most countries have a list? Does America? I'm not knowledgable about things like this.

April 24th, 2009

Letting it go

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I had an gastrointestinal endoscopy performed today. It was an outpatient proceedure - not too horrible -- but it's left me feeling out of sorts. My throat is a little scratchy...neck muscles are sore...some of my teeth hurt a little...I'm sleepy and still a little dizzy from the medication. Nothing terrible, but I'm glad it's over. Afterwards, they told my husband they found "some ulcers" and took biopsies for anaylsis. That's all he said, "some ulcers". He offered no info about how many, what kind, how serious...  I have to wait until next week for the results. Of course, I had to go google it on my own -- which can generate some alarming results. I'm not really worried...well...maybe a little.

Not sure why I'm telling this to all of you in cyberspace. Just needed to release it, I guess.


April 17th, 2009

Six word sci fis

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Wired magazine asked sci-fi, fantasy, and horror writers to write a six word story.
I especially like "It’s behind you! Hurry before it - Rockne S. O’Bannon"

I tried to write one myself, but heck...I struggle to stay under 140 characters on Twitter.  No way I'd make it with six words.
</b></a>[info]adaveen came up with this awesome meme. It goes like this:
Post Your Drive
Parameters:
1) Post ten (10 Only) pictures currently on your hard drive that you think are self-expressive.
2) NO CAPTIONS - speak with images only and let us interpret your visual language.
3) They must ALREADY be on your hard drive; no Googling or Flickr! They have to be saved to your folders sometime in the past and be something you've saved because it resonated with you for some reason. They can be of anything or anyone; family, friends, macros, maps, movie stars... anything that expresses you and your life or personality.
4) Please tag as "Post Your Drive".
5) You do not have to explain or answer any questions. You may if you want.
6) This is an ongoing meme; like "Five for Friday". Post a round anytime you feel like it.
See my pictures )

April 11th, 2009

Post your drive

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</b></a>[info]adaveen came up with this awesome meme. It goes like this:

Parameters:
1) Post ten (10 Only) pictures currently on your hard drive that you think are self-expressive.
2) NO CAPTIONS - speak with images only and let us interpret your visual language.
3) They must ALREADY be on your hard drive; no Googling or Flickr! They have to be saved to your folders sometime in the past and be something you've saved because it resonated with you for some reason. They can be of anything or anyone; family, friends, macros, maps, movie stars... anything that expresses you and your life or personality.
4) Please tag as "Post Your Drive".
5) You do not have to explain or answer any questions. You may if you want.
6) This is an ongoing meme; like "Five for Friday". Post a round anytime you feel like it.
My 10 pictures )



April 4th, 2009

My favorite actor

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My youngest son just starred in his high school production of Hello Dolly as millionaire Horace Vandergelder. He did the first performance with a double ear infection, strep throat, bronchitis and a temperature of about 100-degrees. By the end of the run, he was better but still feeling pretty puny. But, the show must go on! I was SO proud of him!

April 1st, 2009

Happy Birthday Proto!

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Happy birthday, Proto! I hope you have a wonderful celebration!

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March 30th, 2009

I admit it: I'm a geek who likes online jigsaw puzzles. The problem is that all the good ones (like the yahoo daily jigsaw puzzle) are so tiny that I can barely see them on the screen. Does anyone know of some free sites that have them?  It's a nice, brainless, low-stress thing to do when I can't sleep at night.  I do have a couple picky points.

1) The pieces MUST look like realistic, beveled puzzle pieces - none of those simple cutout shapes. These and these kind of puzzle pieces are bad. This is good.
2) Nothing too easy.
3) I'd like them to be free, but at this point I'd almost pay a reasonable sum.

Please let me know if you find anything. I'd be very grateful!

March 27th, 2009

Happy birthday, Catsplay!!

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Happy birthday, dear friend! Have fun on your special day!

I stopped at the Dollar General Store this morning (for those outside of the US, this is a cheap, tacky department store that sells cheap, tacky stuff). As I walked down the food aisle, I noticed that they sell nine different brands of canned Vienna sausages. Nine. Who knew that there are so many connoisseurs of stubby canned sausages that Dollar General needs to keep not two, not five, but NINE different brands to suit their descriminating tastes.

A woman came into the library this morning wearing a pale green housecoat and yellow Crocs (for those outside of the US, a housecoat is a lightweight cotten, knee-length, cheap, tacky robe you would find in Dollar General Store). She chose several romance novels and left.

A flier from a nearby drug store lists a sale on lice shampoo. Isn't that the type of item that you really don't care is on sale or not? Either you need it NOW -- and are willing to buy it at the full retail price of $2.99 -- or you don't.

At 9 a.m. a man rolled up to the library on a bike with a child's seat on the back. In the seat was his desktop computer: full -sized tower, keyboard and huge old-fashioned monitor.  He lugged it into the library, set up the entire system and is still playing on it five hours later. Yes, we have public computers here, but yesterday he was banned for visiting unauthorized sites. So today, he brought his own. The librarians are so furious that he has found a way around the system that they are circling him like hawks. If he even tries to overide the system and go to a questionable site, you can bet they will peck his eyes out. And take away his library card.

I actually read an interesting Twitter. Yes, as far as I'm concerned that is an odd occurrance.
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