Alarmingly Disarming...by dee

Thanks for all the suggestions. I decided to go theaterical. I dressed up my monitor like a stage and photoshopped several of my friends into the roles of the Village People. Since it was MY computer, I decided I could be anyone I wanted -- and I chose the leatherclad biker. My fantasy!

Gee...that would be a great party question: "Which member of the Village People would you be?"

The library Fun Committee strikes again -- and I need suggestions. We are supposed to "dress up our computors" on Friday. Winner gets chocolate. does anyone have any clever ideas. I'm coming up empty.

Did anyone else dress up for Halloween? It's a requirement at our library to wear a costume and yet 3/4th of the staff always "forget" -- which makes the 7 or 8 of us decked out in full regalia just look stupid.  It's hard enough to appear intelligent and helpful while wearing a hairy fake wart on the end of your nose. It's even worse when you have to stand beside an apparently normal co-worker.  *giving the evil eye to my well-dressed co-workers*

Frankly, I didn't want to dress up either but I'm on the Fun Committee and felt obligated. Yes...we have an official "Fun Committee". How bizarre is that? Oddly enough, the members are the most sarcastic, naughty, slightly evil women in the library. We talk about all the hysterically fun things we could do and laugh until we cry. But...alas...in a moment of sanity the image of our director's shocked face comes to mind and we end up planning sensible activities that would not offend even the most delicate sensibilities. Of course, they aren't much "fun" either. Like dressing up for Halloween.

Anyway, this morning I cuffed my jeans, put on hubby's big shirt and wore bobby socks, bright red lipstick and black loafers. I'm the world's oldest bobby socker. At least I'm comfy.  I was going to share a picture but honestly...I look big as a barn in this gidup.  I worked so hard to get my red lipstick on straight, but my lips have gotten so thin in my old age that in the photo my mouth looks like an angry slash across my face. Oh yeah, I'm having "fun" today.

Does anyone have candy?

My poor little Live Journal must be feeling neglected. A few of my friends lured me over to Facebook and I felt like I should give it a wholehearted effort.

Well...what do I think?

Eh. *shoulder shrug* It's okay. It's incredibly easy to link videos, photos, games, etc. to share with your friends. It's not as farty as Twitter. My favorite part is reading my eldest son's posts so I can keep up with his life without peering at his house through high-power binoculars. I've also wiled away some dull hours discovering Which Rock & Roll Bitch I Am (Debby Harry), What My Old Lady Name Is (Adelaide), and Which Fictional Book Character I Resemble (Atticus Finch).  It's also a nice way to find people from your past and catch up a bit.

Yes, I'll probably keep it up. But it doesn't satisfy any real "need" on my part.  It's just the same superficial discourse that surrounds me everywhere.

It occurs to me that artistic/creative people
tend to be rather self destructive
when left on their own for long periods of time.

VanGogh  Self Portrait with Banaged Ear

This weekend, my youngest son -- an 18-year-old senior in high school -- is refereeing a wrestling match in a city that is a long, five hour drive from our home. Worried about his safety, I made him a hotel reservation to stay overnight so we wouldn't be driving late on the road and exhausted. I also bought a car GPS to help him safely follow his route (I've been wanting one for trips to visit my husband in Michigan anyway).

He stopped at the library where I work to say goodbye.  As I gave him a kiss, I warned to drive carefully, park in well-lit areas, lock his doors, keep his cell phone charged, don't take candy from strangers, and not to invite hookers to his hotel room.

Everything taken care of. Nothing more to worry about. Vaya con dios, mi hijo querido.

One minute later, he called me from the library parking.
He'd locked his keys in the car.




It's going to be a loooooong weekend...

Remember my recent post about the Ralph Lauren ad featuring a severely manipulated photo of a model whose head was bigger than her waist? Well, she is speaking out and says Ralph Lauren fired her for being too fat! She wears a size 4!!

Her waist is smaller then her head.
Is this an example of a model who needs a cheeseburger or of extreme photoshop manipulation?
Considering the message it sends, does it matter?
Read all about it HERE.

I often wish that I had a sister. Sometimes I'd like to discuss a certain topic with other women, but the subject isn't the sort of thing to bring up at the next library staff meeting. For instance, my hubby just said that an orgasm from "real" sex is sooooooo much better than from masturbation. I smiled because I love him with ever fiber of my being and he's good at what he does. But in my head I was thinking, "Really?!" It would be nice to know if I'm weird, but it's not exactly a conversation starter in most circles.

Yesterday was the opening of bow hunting season for deer. My uncle set up a blind in our woods and can't wait to get out there and kill somethin' big. A few days ago in preparation, he put a motion-triggered camera in the blind and got pictures of several multi-point bucks. *staring out the window towards the woods* I now have an overwhelming desire to walk out there wearing my bright red Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer antlers to trigger the camera myself and flash my boobs at the camera.

Fall is here in Indiana. It's been cold, rainy and windy for days and the leaves are rapidly disappearing before we can enjoy the colorful foliage. I dread the thought of another winter without my husband. October 1st was his one year anniversary of working in Traverse City, Michigan. I need to find something to divert me, interest me, inspire me. My thoughts gnaw. If I don't distract myself soon I'll start writing bad poetry -- and that's a slippery slope to the abyss.

Someone gave me a bushel of of beautiful golden apples. How lovely. But what the hell am I suppose to do with a BUSHEL of apples? I've been playing with the idea of peeling/coring/slicing/freezing them. Someone please, talk me out of it.

Whining all the way, I allowed some dear friends to talk me into joining Facebook -- using my real name. Now, people who know the "real me" have found me and want to be my friend. Ummmm...no. If I know you face-to-face in the real world and you've never cooked me a meal, took me to the movies, called me to chat, mailed me a birthday card, invited me shopping, etc., then why would I want to be your friend in my online world?

This is the most bizarre thing I've ever seen: a rabbit attacking a snake. Watch how the snake gets away.

Youngest son was in a recent performance of Tom Sawyer playing -- what else? -- the villain, Injun Joe. Not many pictures of him to share this time, however. Every time he walked onstage, an evil chord of music rang out and the lights dimmed with a red filter. Ummm...excuse me! Injun Joe's momma is trying to take pictures of her baby boy! Turn up the damn lights!

   

I adored Peter, Paul and Mary. I learned to sing listening to their albums. They were so cool, so talented, so passionate. I actually got to see them in concert  years ago at the Embassy Theater in Fort Wayne and it was like a religious experience.
Sigh... It's a sad evening.

Borrowed from adaveen
I look terribly boring...
( My Interests Collage! )</div>

Woo hoo! Universal Orlando is building a new high tech ride called Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey! Wonder if Snape will be featured. Or better yet...doesn't Alan like roller coasters...?

Road trip!!

I'll bet Rowlings is making billions on this deal.

What man thought this was a good idea??!!!

Okay...at first I thought this was incredibly sappy, but by the end it had me hooked.
I may actually go home and hug our mean, nasty, smelly dog, Bear.

Inquiring minds want to know: How do you eat your bacon?



It all began with protowilson's wonderful Harry Potter Half Blood Prince cartoon and a conversation with friend johari_m. I was surprised to see that our brave little illustrated heroine was eating bacon with a fork.


But have we been doing it wrong all these years? Is it impolite to handle our bacon in public? Should we use a fork? When we sit down to a Grand Slam breakfast at Denny's, do we look like a bunch of Neanderthals gnawing fiercely on a burnt boar carcass?!

egads...are my Hoosier roots showing?!!

So, the question remains for all of cyberworld. Spread the word!

Where are you from and how do you eat your bacon?

It would've been a lot shorter...

Our hateful cocker spaniel, Bear, stayed at a boarders for a week while we were recently on vacation. And, for some reason I can't decipher, his bark has changed.

Seriously. His bark sounds completely different. You'd think it was an entirely different dog. At first, we thought perhaps Bear had barked his fool head off at the other dogs at the boarders and was just hoarse. But 10 days later, the new bark remains. It is deeper, more guttural.

Why? Did the other dogs make fun of his bark, so he felt the need to butch it up a bit? Did the other dogs speak a different dialect that Bear emulated? The owner said Bear played a lot with a Great Dane. Perhaps his new bark is the result of trying to impress his towering friend?

I am bewildered.

Today, I had to fill out a paper form with an ink pen, put it into an envelope, attach a stamp, and drop it into a mail box.

I felt so uncomfortable during the process that I had to pause to wonder why.
Then, it occurred to me...

I have not actually mailed a letter/card/bill in over a year.

What a bizarre realization.